A NAME FOR A TRANSGENDER JEW

Surat Knan for A Wider Bridge

Surat Knan, a female-to-male (ftm) transgender person, writes in his blog about the importance (and the process) of changing name as part of  the transitioning journey

The day had finally come. Sitting in a South London courtroom waiting to be called up to make a statutory declaration to have my name changed ‘officially.’

This, way before my legal status change from female to male. This all being optional, as my counsellor keeps saying gingerly.

I clenched my sweaty palms.

I wasn’t really nervous about the procedure itself which is no big deal, just a formality; but I was nervous because I knew the clerk would be reading out aloud my dreaded birth name in front of a sizeable audience.

It was just a handful of strangers, who probably couldn’t care less and were staring into nothing; a couple of unruly Poles reeking of alcohol, a detached-looking youngster.

I guess most of them were more concerned about their criminal cases than my very uninteresting personal declaration. But that made no difference to me.

Being trans feels sometimes like being on a massive stage with the audience scrutinising my every move under a gigantic looking glass.

For years, my nightmare fantasy was about waiting to board a plane with an announcement blurting out my FULL birth name ‘…please come to the check-in desk..!’

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