Legal Obstacles Still Plague Gay Couples

They say that our relationships are what truly make life special. So, what if you couldn’t stand under a chuppah to marry the one you love in your own hometown? What if there was a law that kept you from having children with your soul mate?

The fact is, LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) individuals are not protected by many American civil rights, including the right to marry and to adopt children together. It’s not illegal to deny housing or employment to LGBT citizens because of their sexual preference either. Additionally, they may also be asked to leave a business or denied service at a business without recourse.

Same-Sex Marriage  

Same-sex marriages are not recognized in most U.S. jurisdictions, including Michigan. Currently only nine states have legalized same-sex marriage: Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New York, Vermont, Washington, Maine and Maryland as well as the District of Columbia.

While it may not seem significant to some that LGBT people are not allowed to be married, there are actually more than 1,100 state and federal benefits, rights and protections associated with legal civil marriage that they are unable to take advantage of as a result of not being “legally married.” Among them:

• The right to inherit property from their spouse if he/she dies without a will (without having to pay inheritance taxes).

• The right to make medical decisions for their spouse should they become incapacitated.

• The right to hospital visitation, including ICU and emergency room, if their spouse is incapacitated.

• The right to receive their spouse’s share of Social Security benefits.

• The right to be a beneficiary on a state or federal pension.

• The right for a person from a foreign country to gain citizenship by virtue of marriage.

• The right to file joint income taxes with the IRS.

• The right to have a court decide property distribution and child custody issues should their marriage break up.

Rabbi Arnie Sleutelberg is celebrating his 25th year as rabbi of Congregation Shir Tikvah in Troy. In April of this year, he married his partner, Robert Crowe, in Windsor.

“I’ll never forget the feeling of standing on the banks of the Detroit River in Canada, facing the other side of the river where our home is — our home that doesn’t recognize our marriage,” he recalls.

Robert Crowe and Rabbi Arnie Sleutelberg were married in Windsor, Ontario, and in England, but had a ceremony at their home in Lake Orion recently with family and friends.

Robert is from England, so the two headed off to England in July to get married with Robert’s friends and family present. Robert, being a British citizen, can live in the U.S. on a work visa, but does not have the right to become a U.S. citizen by virtue of marriage.

On Sept. 3, 2012, they had a ceremony at their home in Lake Orion with 450 friends, family and supporters. “It was a complete Jewish wedding in every way with the exception of not being recognized by the state,” Sleutelberg explains.

“We have made a lot of progress along the way, but we still have a way to go,” he says. “I would never have believed that my congregation would be so welcoming and come together the way they have to support us. I am very grateful to be in this community and for serving the congregation that I do.”

Synagogues And Gays

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