Legal Obstacles Still Plague Gay Couples

They say that our relationships are what truly make life special. So, what if you couldn’t stand under a chuppah to marry the one you love in your own hometown? What if there was a law that kept you from having children with your soul mate?

The fact is, LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) individuals are not protected by many American civil rights, including the right to marry and to adopt children together. It’s not illegal to deny housing or employment to LGBT citizens because of their sexual preference either. Additionally, they may also be asked to leave a business or denied service at a business without recourse.

Same-Sex Marriage  

Same-sex marriages are not recognized in most U.S. jurisdictions, including Michigan. Currently only nine states have legalized same-sex marriage: Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New York, Vermont, Washington, Maine and Maryland as well as the District of Columbia.

While it may not seem significant to some that LGBT people are not allowed to be married, there are actually more than 1,100 state and federal benefits, rights and protections associated with legal civil marriage that they are unable to take advantage of as a result of not being “legally married.” Among them:

• The right to inherit property from their spouse if he/she dies without a will (without having to pay inheritance taxes).

• The right to make medical decisions for their spouse should they become incapacitated.

• The right to hospital visitation, including ICU and emergency room, if their spouse is incapacitated.

• The right to receive their spouse’s share of Social Security benefits.

• The right to be a beneficiary on a state or federal pension.

• The right for a person from a foreign country to gain citizenship by virtue of marriage.

• The right to file joint income taxes with the IRS.

• The right to have a court decide property distribution and child custody issues should their marriage break up.

Rabbi Arnie Sleutelberg is celebrating his 25th year as rabbi of Congregation Shir Tikvah in Troy. In April of this year, he married his partner, Robert Crowe, in Windsor.

“I’ll never forget the feeling of standing on the banks of the Detroit River in Canada, facing the other side of the river where our home is — our home that doesn’t recognize our marriage,” he recalls.

Robert Crowe and Rabbi Arnie Sleutelberg were married in Windsor, Ontario, and in England, but had a ceremony at their home in Lake Orion recently with family and friends.

Robert is from England, so the two headed off to England in July to get married with Robert’s friends and family present. Robert, being a British citizen, can live in the U.S. on a work visa, but does not have the right to become a U.S. citizen by virtue of marriage.

On Sept. 3, 2012, they had a ceremony at their home in Lake Orion with 450 friends, family and supporters. “It was a complete Jewish wedding in every way with the exception of not being recognized by the state,” Sleutelberg explains.

“We have made a lot of progress along the way, but we still have a way to go,” he says. “I would never have believed that my congregation would be so welcoming and come together the way they have to support us. I am very grateful to be in this community and for serving the congregation that I do.”

Synagogues And Gays

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David Rakoff: Half Full, in Our Book

Long and proud is the Jewish tradition of using sharp humor in the face of hopeless tragedy. David Rakoff – humorist, essayist, and self-described "mega Jewish writer" – was a master of this tactic.

Rakoff died of cancer this past August at the age of 47, and his final book, Half Empty, is staggering testament to his mastery. Riddled with irreverent Yiddish humor, Jewish jokes, and self-deprecation so advanced Woody Allen would be proud (Rakoff comments in one essay that he is "the Jewish homosexual writer: the ultimate degenerate"), Half Empty feels like a distinctly Jewish read. It's a fitting way to remember Rakoff – his so-sharp-it's-painful clever turns of phrase, his simultaneously sardonic and genuine storytelling, and his bluntly hilarious reflections on his identities.

Per the book’s pessimistic title, its final essay reveals the news of Rakoff’s more recent cancer diagnosis (the writer had beat Lymphoma in his twenties, so this was to be his second bout), and an arguably Jewish conclusion: "In the end, what choice does one really have but to understand the truth, to really take it in, and then shop for groceries, get a haircut, do one's work; get on with the business of one’s life."

Court grants divorce to gay couple for first time in Israeli history

Judge rejects state's arguments that only the rabbinical courts have the authority to dissolve marriage, instructs Interior Ministry to register the former lovers as divorced.

An Israeli court has granted the divorce of a gay couple for the first time in the country's history, the separated couple was informed on Sunday.

Late last month the Ramat Gan Family Court approved the request of Uzi Even, a chemistry professor at Tel Aviv University, and Amit Kama, who teaches communications at Max Stern Yezreel Valley College, to order the Interior Ministry to register them as divorced.

"From my point of view, even if the state appeals and we have to keep going down this road, the verdict shows the beginning of the undermining of the rabbinate," Kama said.

"I am very happy that we may have made a breakthrough," he said, adding that the decision could affect not only other same-sex couples but also straight couples who got married in a civil ceremony abroad ¬ since Israel does not recognize civil marriages performed inside the country ¬ and now want the state to register them as divorced.

Judge Yehezkel Eliyue said he based his decision on the High Court of Justice's instruction to the state to register the marriages of five same-sex couples who had tied the knot in Canada.

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Gay Orthodox Jews Talk About Merging Two Lifestyles

For Orthodox Jews, being both observant and actively gay, is a theological taboo. Producer Jon Kalish spoke to four gay Orthodox Jews who are trying to merge their two identities. The group includes an ordained Orthodox rabbi and a Hasidic lesbian living in a frum section of Brooklyn.

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